THE GUITARIST: Caitlin leaves New York

CHAPTER THREE

The week went quickly.  I spent my days in recording sessions and Cait’s were spent in legal wrangling.  She’d somehow found time to have her hair and nails done, and she wore a bit of mascara and blush.  She often felt down when we met for dinner—always in the hotel—but since my days were far less grim, I could get her to laugh before the meal was over.  Besides the Empire State Building, I showed her the Statue of Liberty and the World Trade Center Memorial.  I took her to museums and galleries.  She enjoyed the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and one dry evening, we had daylight enough to see Central Park.  Every evening ended at the Velvet Room.

And then it was time for her to leave.

I exited the lift just as she checked out at the desk.  I crossed the lobby and stood behind her as she finished.

“I hope you’ll come back to stay with us again, Ms. Flynn.  We’ve enjoyed serving you.”

“Thank you,” she said, as she folded the paperwork and put it into her handbag.  “I’ve enjoyed staying here.”

She turned to leave and was startled to find me there. 

“You didn’t think I’d let you go without a proper goodbye, did you?” I took up her suitcase and led her to a quiet side area.

“I didn’t want to get you up so early,” she said.

“Some things are worth an early rise, aren’t they?  I’ve had fun.”

“I’ve had fun, too,” she said.  “Thanks to you.”

I lifted her chin with my fingertips. “I want to kiss you before you go.  Is that all right?” I asked her softly.

I felt her breath catch and she locked her eyes with mine.  “I . . . I guess so.” 

She didn’t sound entirely sure and I gave her a curious look, but she’d be gone in minutes.

Though the kiss was soft and sensuous, I felt her holding back.  I held her hands as I pulled away. 

“In a few weeks we’ll be finished recording.  We’ll have a slight break before we leave for Europe on the first leg of the tour.  I’d like to see you again.”

She took her eyes from mine and pulled away further, though she continued to let me hold her fingertips in my hands.

“I . . . um . . . I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

I hadn’t expected that at all.

Not at all. 

I dropped her hands and took another step back.  “Why?”

“Nicholas, I’m not really your type.”

“What type would that be?”  I wasn’t sure what she meant.

She met my eyes quickly before looking away again.

“I’m not gonna have sex with someone I just met.”  She seemed embarrassed to say the words, but then she rushed into, “I’ve really gotta go.”

“Oh,” I said.  “Oh!”  Understanding flooded me.  I cut off her escape.  “You know, there’s a lot of fiction written about me in that regard.”  She met my eyes again briefly.

“I’ve been a fan for a long time,” she said.  “I’ve kept up with you.  It can’t all be lies.”

I ran my hand through my hair.  “I thought we’d gotten to know each other better than that over the past week.  I’m hurt that you think . . .”  I shook my head as I studied my shoes.  I couldn’t turn it back on her—make it her fault.  Clearly, I’d missed something.  I took a deep breath.  “I’m sorry.  I should let you go.”

She turned away.

“Wait!” I said.  “May I call you, at least?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea either.”

“If I did, though, would you answer?”

She turned to give me a quick glance.  “Maybe,” she said, then she turned and was gone. 

I followed slowly to the sidewalk in time to see Larry help her into a Yellow Cab.  I watched as it pulled away into traffic. 

Turn around.

She didn’t.

“Mr. Trent, you okay?” Larry asked, his brow furrowed.

I took a deep breath and shook my head.  “I really don’t know what just happened.  I think you could say I’m gobsmacked.”

He patted my shoulder.  “Women,” he said and raced to open the door for someone.

I heard a familiar laugh and turned to see my mates Evan and Kippy burst through the door. Taylor and Reuben followed behind them.

“There he is,” Reuben said.  “Nicholas, let’s go get breakfast.”

Evan laughed.  “The most important meal for making music, old man.”

Their youthful exuberance always made me smile and this was no exception, even though I felt empty of Cait.

“Let’s go,” Taylor said, sliding his arm around my shoulder.  “You’ll be all right.  If it hurts, you know it’s love.”

I shook my head and followed my bandmates to breakfast.

*          *          *

My reputation had served me well throughout my career, keeping me out of unwanted complications with women.  I’d not actually considered the possibility of wanting more than sex from a woman.  Since my marriage ended, I’d been very careful not to put myself into that situation again.  It was simply safer.  I certainly didn’t want my heart broken and I didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

I didn’t want to turn into my dad.

*          *          *

I rang her ten days later.  She didn’t answer.  I left a message but she didn’t call back.

Nights, I’d put myself to sleep going over scenarios where I’d see her and she’d be delighted I was there.  Or she wouldn’t, and I’d practice what I’d say to plead my case.  Maybe her marriage had been so perfect she was unwilling to give her heart again.

Of course, I had secrets of my own.  Pieces of my past I didn’t care to tell anyone.  Things I hadn’t spoken of, to anyone, ever.  My miserable childhood in Lancashire.  My miserable parents.  My escape into the guitar.

As far as I was concerned, my escape had been a success beyond any expectation.  Yes, sometimes loneliness overtook me.  Yes, sometimes regrets threatened to drown me.  Most of the time I could recover through music or a nice, long run.  The worst times required a night of hard drinking and sex with a willing stranger.

 

Coming up: Nicholas gets a call